► Bahamut Sphere 【Sync】 Atelier Freya ◄: Love-ism

運勢

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 05:49:27 GMT

Somehow i like reading fortune telling stuff... ie. daily horoscope fortune from newsletter or site... its not i am believing in that things... but i found that things kinda inspire my daily life ... while lately i kinda boring reading that stuff... just now i check my mail box and read the that horoscope fortune emails from past few days to today... here some what i read :

Tuesday, December 19:
Keep up your sense of optimism. If you know what you want and have faith that it will happen, you're almost there. Just let the process of getting there be a surprise and learn to work with what you have.

※ i like when i got some reading like this ^-^

Wednesday, December 20:

Even if you loved and lost, wasn't it all worth it? Think of the people and the experiences you would have missed out on if you hadn't taken a risk. Make time to be grateful and to honor your history.

※ For this one, yeah i always think like this ... i prefer take the risk rather than pass it and regret it later... although i am not really active person that can talk to unknown people easily, even i really want to know that person.... anyway about this day fortune, is it a sign ? well until today there no sign in this thing, but maybe because i dun have someone special enuf in my heart now...

Thursday, December 21:

A love matter gathers momentum, even though its progress may be nearly invisible to the naked eye. Try a little (more) tenderness and you'll soon get a sense of where this relationship may be heading.

※ What i like reading this horoscope fortune, rather than telling what today vision, its kinda giving me advice ^^

Friday, December 22:

People have to earn your trust and respect, but once they do, you're on their side for life. That's why you need to move carefully when you're looking for love. Once you find a partner, you're loyal to the end.

※ This is totally right! Not all people can get my interest, if u are my friend u will know about this, since not everybody can be my friend ... maybe this isnt good things... but i am like that, but at the time u became my friend, i will loyal to u no matter what ... until u broke my trust to u...

And about loyal things, i dunno for sure whether i can be a loyal person to the end, but until now if i already love a gurl, i cant interested to other gurl... but again i never experience long relationship with a girl (ie. 5 years up) ... so i dunno, but i really hoping i can love the gurl to the end of my life ^^

Sunday, December 24:

You're particular about who gets to see you at your most vulnerable, and it's no wonder -- you have so much depth, you know that not just anyone would understand you. Take your time and move at your speed.

※ somehow i find this right too...

Tuesday, December 26:

Is this the real thing? The best place to answer your burning questions when it comes to romance just might be your dreams. Meditation, yoga and tai chi help your subconscious channel the answer to your waking mind.

※ i kinda dun understand this one

Wednesday, December 27:

Something in the way this person moves just makes your toes curl, frankly. You may think it's just physical attraction, but take a chance and talk to them. The connection could go much, much deeper.

※ Wow tomorrow is nice day ... well its should be... since i already make my planning for tomorrow ^^ ... 楽しみにだ！

again, if u a person that interested in Horoscope Zodiac things... check out : Zodiac Personality ... u will be amazed since its kinda accurate to ur personality, from what i know, its around 80% up accurate ^^

クリスマスイヴェ　２００６

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 05:16:26 GMT

Christmas Eve already passed... 2 days ago to be exact ....

compared to last year (2005) this year is more enjoyful ... if i dun wrong for last year christmas eve, i wake at the morning and its raining... so i spend half of day watching the rain, while listening my fave calming music ie :

>/ Seal of the Wind ~The Three Trails~

>/ The Water Maiden

>/ True True Piano ver.

>/ Various X'mas song etc

while watching the rain, somehow my mind flowing up, lots memories brings up, and becoz of that i am thinking about many things ...

maybe you guys think what i do is wasting time and its really boring stuff... but for me actually thats not like that... in my life i often do stuff without thinking first, so i think its good things if i spend sometimes to thinking carefully about my life lately... what i should do next etc etc...

since i like to schedule my next step and also make prediction about the step i take....

For this year, its kinda different, wake up in the morning and its sunny day! (somehow it make me thinking maybe many people in japan praying for Sunny day at クリスマスイヴェ since that day is another great date day other than valentine)

I have my schedule for christmas eve... well not really special schedule though, not like couples that planning to spend the day until morning (well my friend that not couple also spend christmas eve until morning though).... so i run the schedule, somehow i can completed it prefectly, well i guess i can say that prefect ^-^ ... while i spend the night alone (i even go to お台場 alone! .... for the first time, i see a place that not a place for single person, i dunno how many couples in お台場 on クリスマスイヴェ, but as far my eyes can see, everyone is couples!!) ...

if u ask me 「why i go to お台場 alone, WTF are u stupid ?」 ... i need good place to thinking ahahaha, stupid reason maybe but other than thinking place, i just want to see the クリスマスイヴェ emotion atmosphere around 東京 and which place is the most HOT Date Spot ... so from my guessing after seeing various situation, it will be like this :

1st Disney Sea Resort + Disney Land ... (i think couple will prefer go to Disney Sea rather than Disney Land)

2nd お台場 (Odaiba Aqua City / Decks) lots event in there!

3rd actually i dunno what i should write, in 3rd rank ... but i think 横浜 (Yokohama) ... since in 横浜 there also some good デート spot)

お台場 that night is cold enuf, but not really cold imo (maybe i just get used to the winter weather nowdays? believe or not, until now i havent using heather even a single day!)

while i am thinking alone, somehow its really wonderful, somehow this year クリスマスイヴェ warm enuf... i dont have someone special in my side yet, but i dunno i just feel the warmness in my heart ^-^ ... so at that time i really dun care about couples that i see ... abit envy feeling is there (because going a date on クリスマスイヴェ with someone special is also my dream) ... but since i didnt hoping much to be with a gf for this year xmas so its not big deal for me...

What make my feeling warm ? i dun know for sure, but i think the person that i thought that time is the one make my feeling warm...

other than that, what i done this year is great enuf... everything i plan going smoothly, even there are some problems... but eveything just ok!

Here some pictures

※ Sorry for bad image quality, pictures taken by P902iS with 2.1MP ^^;;

原宿　雪達磨

渋谷　イルミナシオン

※ いつもこと、人が込んでいるだ

渋谷　人人人人人～

渋谷

※ This 渋谷 images taken from スターバックスカフェ

お台場　クリスマスシリー

お台場　ＡＱＵＡ・ＣＩＴＹ

※ if this image clear, u will see lots couple on デート

お台場　エベント

※ There so much event on お台場 that day, like Song Performance, mini circus show etc.

Well since Christmas already passed....

Happy New Year 2007 everyone !!

みんなーさん　謹賀新年　２００７年 !!

たったひとつの恋 Finale

Sun, 17 Dec 2006 18:18:20 GMT

complete watching it today... well people that watch on tv, the series already ended since last week.

and the ending comment :

Like usual drama, altough the writer seems want to make good ending impact, buy adding some problem within the relation near ending, but thats it ...

The most important things is viewer enjoy the drama (from comment forum i read just now, is like that), somehow i remember how people arguing/comment the ending of いちご１００％マンガ ... seems until now its still no ending in debating the ending ...

Also there some people want the story keep going... while i disagree with that, keep prolonging the story will make this drama no good anymore, for me, i enjoy the best first 4 episode, after that somehow its just like follow usual drama.... and about the ending, even its usual ending, i still enjoy it, maybe because i enjoy this drama since the beginning...

Compared to other drama i watch... so far this one have the best ending... サプリ even have worst ending, just like no impact in ending that make viewer feel relieved with the ending, maybe i didnt watch the drama carefully like this one though.... 鉄板少女アカネ！！ ending also nothing special either even last 3 episode somehow boring, i dunno whether the producer have intention to make 2nd season or not.... for other drama, the series still continuing... so i still looking forward for good ending ^-^

What good thing watching drama, u watching... maybe... a fantasy world... which why people (especially girls that usually watch the drama) like it ...

Well it might happen in real world, since part of the story usually taken from real life experience... but the 「too sweet part」 not that easy to reach, especially if ur destiny not like that or u dun have enuf faith...

thats why about Love the quote from Love Generation is fact ! 「True Love Never Runs Smooth」

in terms to reach the Love that ur really Love, there is hard path to break through... when u have enuf faith, working hard, u maybe can make ur dream come true....

thats why i think human, when have enuf faith and working hard, he/she can make impossible things to be real

even no guarantee for it, it might even u working hard and keep hoping, nothing come, it might ur destiny like that, but i believe when u reach this point, there is something in your life changed ... even u didnt get what u want, u get something as replacement, which is not a bad thing...

ie. u loving a person that not love you, if u really love that person, u will think for that person happiness than urself ... at that time maybe u need to sacrifice something for that person... maybe u can't grasp the dream... but somehow u get something else... well in my case, i do ....

※ ah... i forgot to wrote important things... beside good story... that たったひとつの恋 have really good OST!!!

somehow i kinda like the songs composed by 池頼広 ... well whether the composer and producer have intention or not the songs kinda have same tune to 「Titanic」 ... i forgot on what episode, but on that episode ヒロト said something like 「our story is kinda same like in Titanic」 ... that time i realize, the story indeed have image of Titanic lol ... rather than Meteor Garden, its more close to Titanic hahahaha....

continue about OST ... it have titanic ost tunes + christmas tunes.... its kinda hard to explain though... its just good OST, maybe i will share the OST for X'mas present... we will see soon ^-^

Overall rating for this drama 8/10

Story 7/10

BGM 9/10

Cast 8/10 (戸田恵梨香かわい～ and i also have to admit 綾瀬はるか doing pretty good too!）

たったひとつの恋

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 15:31:33 GMT

for last few days i been watching this J-drama (さいきん、俺なかなか女見たいと思ってる。。。たくさんドラマ見てるから）

at the beginning i just interest in theme song 「僕らの街で - KAT-TUN」 ... i dun have any interest in watching the drama, although i download the first 2 episode via bittorent... well my friend said that the story is boring and that makes me more lose interest in watching the drama

But on last few days, at lunch time, i kinda run out movie to watch, only たったひとつの恋 that i havent watch, so i think why not give it a try....

after watch the first espisode, something is interesting... well the story is pretty usual love story drama without nothing special, i even can guess what will happen in that drama, but somehow i enjoy watching the drama ...

so after that first episode, i watch episode by episode... the story so far is just reverse of 「Meteor Garden that played by F4 that gone booming on 2004?」

while in meteor garden, the man is the one rich and that guy love a girl, while the girl is poor, the story going with some added spices ie. the girl have some feeling to other guy etc. etc. ... while in たったひとつの恋, the one poor is the guy (亀梨和也 as ヒロト) and the girl （綾瀬はるか as ナオ) is the rich one ...

While i enjoying the drama, there is some point that makes me interesting to this drama.... ヒロト character, somehow there are something same to me... ヒロト while he continuing his relationshiｐ to ナオ, there is a time where he read a magazine that write article about ナオ family, which told him that ナオ is came from rich family... at that time he feel that his relationship to ナオ is no good, because somehow their life is completely in different world (the society position came from different level) he that everyday have to work hard for his life and family while ナオ enjoying her life with nothingless...

when i watch this point, somehow it makes the drama more interesting for me, since it same to my personality ... if the girl that i love is came from rich family or more rich than family, somehow there is something that push me back and usually i will give up aftering the girl, that usually happen at the beginning or as soon when i know about it... and it happen once in my life... the last person that i like... the time i realize she came from rich family, somehow there is something in my heart that pushing me to stop aftering the girl, but at that time its kinda to late, i already like her a lot... so i force myself to keep aftering the girl... while i aftering her, lots things happen... either sweet things and bad things, its make the memories unforgettable, and at the end, i give up without any regret ...

the main factor that i can give up without any regret is because she came from rich family.... well i never said this to anyone before （今日,俺なかなか話過ぎるな） ... otherwise, i will keep regreting because i give up, since if there isn't any good reason to give up, i never give up aftering the person i love... until her feeling towards me changed or there good reason to give up, ie. like the thing i write above or the girl said she dun want me close to her, because i dun want to bother anyone, especially the one i like... i prefer i got hurt rather than the one i like got hurt

speaking about that... thats the 2nd characteristic of ヒロト that might same to me, i always want to protect the one i love with everything i have... even when needed i really willing to give my soul away just to protect the one i love (about this maybe i should think more, there is my family etc. but i think for now i cant changed that)

if u asking why i have such foolish thinking ? ... well i dunno, even my father ever said to me 「having girl from richer family nowdays is no problem at all, even maybe its good think, since u will having good life in future」 and my friend ever said too 「the one rich is not her, but her parents isnt it? so why u care so much」 or 「isnt that great think, to have girl that came from rich family, u dun have work hard and u can enjoy ur life better」

well i dun find anything bad in above thinking, but i just cant change my mind like that.... what in my thinking is 「maybe if go with rich girl, other people will think that i love the girl because the money」 or something like that... foolish thinking isnt it ? ... if i think carefully maybe thats just because my pride to high... but again when i love a girl, i always see her as a princess, that have to be treated politely, warmly care and protect her when needed, and of course anything she want if possible i will grant her wish ... at that time, isnt that i throw away my pride... umm i mean not throw away, its more like the girl have higher position .... well tat pushing feeling feel like, i am no good for her, so for her goodness, i have to let her go so she can be with a better person than me, that what i think...

well i dunno why i got that weird characteristic, but somehow i like it, and i will live with that and luckily i aint came from so poor family, well i came from usual family, not rich, but we can have what we need, so tat my unique characteristic dun effect/bother my love life so much.

i have thinking like this, a man have to give life to his family... with that thinking maybe i wont marry until i got feeling that i can life my family happily, and with that thinking ofcourse i prefer my future wife become housewife rather than working to help life the family ... if housewife life boring, she can have fun with her friends, i hope my future wife can have enjoyful life, well if i have to work hard for them its no problem for me, since its my reponsible as man... that what i think now ... whether that is gonna changed in the future or not, i dunno though, but hopefully i can keep this too.

if i dun forget, i ever wrote about my thinking in a relationship ( if u interested enuf to read it check love-ism category, u should find it)

while for ヒロト other characteristic is kinda different to me, like... ヒロト can keep cool in front the person he like,　the cool in here is he can act like no care to the person he like (maybe 日本の男 character is like that? well from several j-drama that i watch have that similar character) ... for me, i will always care about the person i like... i just can't keep cool in front the person i like... maybe thats makes me un-cool ... i ever tried to changed it, but i just cant.... and again maybe i over care to person that i like ? .... well its no good... somehow i have to get work on this things....

back to たったひとつの恋 ...

u ever said 「because this is movie, that such things exist, in real life just keep dreamin' until u die」 right? ... in this case, the girl (ナオ） also like ヒロト which is poor, well maybe its really exist, but i dun think u can find it easily a person like that, people nowdays, is more think about themselves, rarely they prefer have good love rather than have lots money... 「This is real life man! money is everything!」 thats what i heard nowdays... well actually that quote is not fully wrong, whether u want to accept it or not .... with money u can buy almost anything in this world.... but for me, i never thinking to achieve high society, at least for now, my life goal is have happy family, my family can happily life... that enuf for me... well for dream, my highest dream maybe is have houses in every country in the world LOL

やっぱり、俺って話過ぎるだ！。。。悪いことじゃないけど、多分この気持ちの話は自分の心だけあったほうがいい。。。

※ imho 戸田恵梨香 (ユウコ)　somehow is prettier than 綾瀬はるか　（ナオ）, maybe it will be more enjoyful watching 戸田恵梨香 as ナオ ... but again if they switch their cast, somehow their image not fit each other....

and 綾瀬はるか somehow doing really good in playing as ナオ .... somehow viewer can imidiately catch/burn the image of ナオ.... well ナオ is kinda childish girl (because sickness?), abit straight, a innoncence girl... i found out that personality somewhat interesting ^-^

Now Playing　⇒

► ＫＡＴ－ＴＵＮ－僕らの街で

► ＫＡＴ－ＴＵＮ－ Le ciel ～君の幸せ祈る言葉～[X'mas Remix 5 Version]

GIRLS ?? part 5 Final - HEART -

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 21:15:36 GMT

※ Author Note : Enjoy reading it, and feel free to post up comment, thank you~ [All Language accepted]
※ Before you reading this part maybe better if you read previous part, start from part 1, please go to Love-ism カテゴリ for easier finding previous entry

------------------------------------------------------------------
Side Story ...
------------------------------------------------------------------

This 1st side story taken place on 3rd grade highschool... the time that i still after a girl that i like [read part 1mid ～ part 2] ... one day suddenly a junior highschool girl send me a letter [our school have 3 floor, 1st floor - teacher office + canteen etc etc , 2nd floor - Junior Highschool, 3rd highschool ] ... after i read it, i realize that is confension letter... since i currently after a girl that i like, i dun really care about those letter, but deep in my heart there is happy feeling, that time is 1st time i got confession letter from a girl ... Then with day by day passing, that girl somewhat contact me by phone & we talking things ... from the start that girl really dun get my impression, maybe just becoz i am not really like a girl confess their feeling to me first... somehow i know she trying to get my intention, but it just not possible, so i tried my best not to respond her anything, the main reason well i hope that girl just forget about me, and she didn't hurt bad... well i forgot how long she keep trying.... but the story end here...

2nd side story... now the stories take place between part 3 ～ part 4 ... like ever i told you guys before [if you read part 3] i was a member DDR arcade team back then... so usually on weekend we gather up in arcade center and have fun together... there is a time that i meet a girl that somehow her outlook just my type... after i see her, i told my friend about that girl, and asking them how 'bout that girl, but before i have chance to show her to my friend, the girl just dissapear, i dunno where she goes, i just can't find her... i remember back then i really wish i can meet that girl again ... next week after that event, i go to arcade center again, just for usual gathering ... and miracle happens, i meet the girl again... after telling my friend about the girl, i am asking them to accompany me to talk to the girl, but they dun want to... they said "u want to know that girl, then just go ahead by urself ... no need i come with ya"... orz～

[Maybe this is the last chance i have to know her... maybe i won't meet her again if i don't talk to her now - in my mind] ... so i decide to go by myself and say hi to her ...

Dunno why, but this time i dun really nervous to talk to the girl (;^-^) ... i say "hi" & ask her "can i know you ?" ... she "hello..." ... me " um ... my name aldy, can i know yours ? " ... she "?????" [i won't put any name on this story] ... me "ah nice name... btw thank you & nice to know you " ... she " ok ..." ... me " um ... can i contact you ? " ... she "no..." .... me "awww c'mon, can i know your phone or ur mobile pleaseeeee ? " ... she "no ..." ... me "ok then hehehe well i gtg , c ya again ! " ... the i go , then i ask my friend to help me asking her phone number to her ... i kinda forget what happen but in the end i got her home phone number " ... then i go to meet her again ... me " um ... thank you for the number.. can i call you later this night ? " ... she " np ... um.... ok ... oh i need to go, sorry, see you again later " ... me " oh ok then... see you again !" ... then after i back from arcade center, taking bath, around 10:00PM ... i call her ... the one that pickup the phone is she ... me "hello, am i disturb u " ... she " not at all, btw i just got back home " ... me " ahh i see " ... after sort chat then ... me "how if i say i like you ? " [WTH in my head, confessing at the same day know her !?] ... she " what ? we just know each other this day ... " at that time what in my mind actually just joking, i just want to tease her ... but seems done something wrong... after that time call, our relation goes closer so fast... on first date, i hold her hand, seems nothin' wrong with her [maybe not weird for the place u live, but actually not for me myself]... i take her lunch, becoz she haven't ... then do other stuff... after few date, i realize i already done something really wrong... my heart not with this girl ... becoz the one i like is another girl ... 'bout she, actually she is not easy going / open minded girl, she is really nice & kind girl, many of my DDR team members like her, i like her too but my heart that time still with the girl i like in the university ... seems somehow i catch her feeling coicidencely ...

This is really first time for me to go with another girl, while there is another girl in my heart ... actually i really dun like this, i even don't think i can go this far... i made promise to my self at the first time i like girl that i only love a girl / give my heart to one girl , not hurt their feeling, indeed i keep my promise for only love a girl but seems i already break the promise 'not to her girl feeling' more than once ...

if i think again, why i always can catch girls feeling that somewhat i dun have special feeling for, while it so damn hard to catch girls feeling that i really like ... maybe that's my karma ... karma that i should take better action for those girl ... somehow i feel guilty to them now...

now writing ...

※ in the actual there are more things happenned, but it will be to much if i write them up (c^^)q ...

------------------------------------------------------------------
Today ... Tomorrow ... Answer ...
------------------------------------------------------------------

In this life everyone changing & we can't stop it, each person have their own characteristic which keep evolving , everything we get / happen in this life have meaning, and from what we get / happen, that somehow change us, i guess we grow up becoz of that, to be a fully mature person, or maybe a better person in this life ...

Also in this world everything always have 2 side, bad and gud side, well there are a time where more in gud side than bad side, but it always 2 side, nothin' that 1 side only...

ex. if we love someone, we may be with her but as opposite side of that, we give our time for the one we love, even noone ever complain about it since having fun together really nice, but that's the another side we need to sacrifice, just like if we want to buy something, we need to pay it in order to get the item we want or eating, if we enjoy eating a cake then the cake no more ... the point i want to tell is, there all always gud & bad side on anything～

FATE - DESTINY - UNMEI ～ do you guys ever realize, every meeting is fate... there is no coincidence ... every meeting have means / reason ... maybe somewhat we didn't really realize what the reason / meaning of each meeting ... but i guess even without we realize that ... now writing ...

well i guess not only meeting, but everything happen in your life is your FATE

FEELING ～～ feeling within the human ... the most complex things in this life, our life often rely on our feeling either a man or woman, even there are lot's people telling that woman using feeling more than man, but i guess they all just same, madness . ambition . love . happiness . sadness is a form of feeling right ? ... so man using his feeling lots too ... i want to write feeling in love in this time... we get heavenly feeling when someone we like/love reply us but if not we feel the hell ... for me, i ever force my feeling to change like what in my mind, but in the end i can't ... feeling maybe so soft, but we can't change it even with `WILL` ... what we can do about it ? i guess nothin' , everyone that ever love someone should know about the feeling, even we want to ignore, it will be right there within us ... the best way we can do is "Just let it Flow " ... feel the feeling and let it be a part of ur memories in life ... you will learn the pain or hapiness you get is great lesson for your life ... well it did, at least for me... beside that's the prove that of your Presence... Life... existence...

WILL ～ everything happen have their own reason, that what i write on FATE ... becoz of that you have your own will in this life... example, for me, becoz i so amazed with CG Movie on the game i play, somehow i want to create something like this with my own hand ...

in this life i think WILL have major role ... if you have strong Will somehow u can reach your dream someday...

※ i write this becoz i think chained with FATE....

HEART BROKEN ～ seems everyone ... now writing ...

TRUE LOVE ～～ what is true love ... a pure feeling that you give to a person without any thingking getting a reply ? sounds stupid & impossible to do / such a nonsense right ? ... but for me i think that's like that... maybe it's like a love feeling from parents to their son ... i didn't know for sure actually, since until this moment where i write this, i still searching what True Love is ... what i Believe is True Love Never Runs Smooth ～ quote from Love Generation J-Drama ...

GIRL ～ there is 2 type of girl that i really like, first is feminim girl, a really girly girl, best example is Toujo-Aya san [Ichigo100%] ... and the other is cheerful girl, that can express her feeling to me without losing impression on me [becoz when a girl confess to me, at that time i really lose interest on those girl, becoz i dun really like that type girl] best example Uesugi Riko [松たかこ / Matsu-Takako] Love Generation, this type of girl really rare, well at least for me, since i never found a girl have personality like Riko ... maybe the one have similar personality like riko is the girl that i think as sister at the beginning [read story part 1] ... the other girl that i after usually have really girly side... especially the last one in my story [part 3+4]... she sure have awesome personality, strong willed girl, smart, feminim, with capability keeping her feeling ...

Why i dun like a girl confess to me first ? well from the story i write maybe u guys can see me as classical / old type guy... that a guy should the one act without giving chance a girl to act, the only thing girl can do is waiting for the guy ... well actually i dun have problem with girl confessing to me first, but somehow often that make me lose interest on the girl,

maybe if she do better way to confess will change everything ... but there is a old words like this "in this world, man and woman have their own task ... a man might have right to confess to woman, but the other hand the woman have right to reject to man ... the man have job to care the woman feeling ... while the woman have right to dump the man " which means man and woman have same high position, even maybe woman have higher position, becoz she control how a relation going... but that's just and old words i learn ...

somehow i kinda picky, i always want to go with the girl i like only, rather than try to go with a girl that actually maybe we can doing just fine if i tried... at the end maybe i will keep looking for my dream girl forever hehehe...

THINK ～～

DREAM ～～

REASON ～ why i write this thing up on my blog ? first i just want this as my personal memorial, since until now i only remember these thing in my head, i never write on diary or something like that ... 2nd maybe the story & thingking i share right now can help people who read this [i am not really sure though (;;^-^)] ...

now writing ...

Now Playing ► Call Me - Nana Kitade

► Kanashimi no Kizu - Nana Kitade
► Kimi wa Boku ni Niteiru - See-Saw

        ► Jink White - Toujo Aya [Mamiko Noto]
           ► Hi no Ataru Basho - Toujo Aya [Mamiko Noto]
              ► Seijaku wa Headphone no Naka - See-Saw
※ Yuki-Kajiura [See-Saw . FictionJunction] Totaly OWNZ ～ !!!

GIRLS ?? part 4 - BELIEVE -

Fri, 19 Aug 2005 16:37:35 GMT

※ Author Note : Enjoy reading it, and feel free to post up comment, thank you~ [All Language accepted]

※ Before you reading this part maybe better if you read previous part, start from part 1, please go to Love-ism カテゴリ for easier finding previous entry

※ Even this story came from my personal experience, but what i wrote here not 100% real, somepart of the story may different mainly due my memories blur, otherwise to make this story more easy to understand... since there is somepart that need long explanation to answer why that things happen

※ Sorry for crappy english grammar ... Happy Reading !

In 1~2 months range... while i wasn't contacting her... the moment where i call her last time often passing in my mind... back then, ever i ask her, what kind of guy she like... she answer she really like her father figures, a gentle guy with strong heart, that always working hard... am i have those side within me ? .... i guess nope, pathetic isn't it?

Then i remember the last thing she said to me on that time, "well could we just let everything flowing.... go just like a water " ... maybe that's the best way for both us... since somehow i understand what feeling is.... we just can't force to change our feeling.... so i guess, after i got time to think about it, i will try to after her again..

2 Months passed and i gave her a call, even our relationship not as close as good before, but i think i can fix it with the time goes.... month by month passed, our relation getting better again, at least that what i feel... then there is a time i need to take her and her sister to airport, they going back to home because holiday...

they booked the airship at 09:00AM morning, i already prepare things needed on the night, in the morning i go with my driver, because i still really sleepy... i go out at 05:30AM

but things got worst, traffic jam.... i already predict there will be a traffic jam [everyday just like that], but i dun predict there are car accident on the way, and it took out all the time... arrive at her homestay, they already prepared, after i put all their luggage on the car, then we go, i look up the time, already 07:30AM ... if i go the usual route to the airport we won't make it, so we need the shortcut route again this time, but nor me or my driver know the way, actually i remember a bit, but if i took wrong way things will get worst... so i need my friend help again, without more thinking i go to his house, and wake him and ask him to prepare things as fast as possible, then we go with the shortcut route...

This is the worst event i ever got.... you know what, there is another traffic jam on the shortcut route... on the half of way i check the time again., 08:30AM !!! seems we not gonna make it in time... then i decide to call the airport service, to ask about the airship, is there any delay or something like that, if luck enuf [there is delay] we can make it time... but seems no luck this time... at last we almost arrive at the airport, but a retard bump my backside car, then the driver complain, WTF i really angry that time, but there is no time for those things.... so i decide to just let the retard do what he want and we can go to the airport fast... but becoz the driver complain my friend somewhat got nerves and he complain back.... again i mention about time... then we continue the way, and at last arrive at the airport... somewhat we to late for the airship...

i really feel so guilty, i know maybe something like this just happen in our life, but if i go pickup them earlier maybe we won't late... usually i always in time for something crucial/important like this but this time everything just srewed... now i learn this as precious moment in my life... and in the future i understand preparing more time not useless

So she and her sister decide to book next airship, somehow that time, flight to her destination fully booked, and so with the other flight company, most of them fully booked, [this really fuckin' weird] so they register for waiting list...

Then already time for lunch, so We lunch at airport fastfood, somehow i just can't enjoy food while i near her...just like manaka near tsukasa eh?, i just feel nervous, but maybe becoz i feel really guilty ... there are lots things in my mind, like should i pay for next flight ? ... is they angry to me ? ... what i should do to make her not angry ? ... what i should do to make her not bored, they are still plenty time to next flight ...

after lunch, we back to ticket counter asking about the waiting list, we also asking about this on others ticket counter then at last they got ticket for evening (17～18PM ) flight... then becoz there no other things to do in airport, we go back to the car and go somewhere to spend time... then in the car... all people dunno about where to go... so for some time i rambling about things that somewhat stupid [my friend even give me advice "better dun talk if u dun have gud topic to talk about"] ... actually i know about it, i think hard how to make them not bored becoz we have to wait for next flight ... and if i dun speak up ... it will be so silent... at the end i decide to go to a cafe in airport...

Luckily the cafe nice enuf, after chatting for some quite time, they go to restroom, that time i ask my friend "did they fell bored or angry becoz this things ? " ... my friend "dunno, but from their expression seems nope... they just like usual" ... hearing that i feel abit relieved, but i still a bit worried ... even they dun felt bored that time, but i am sure they somehow bit pissed about this ... and there is nothin i can do to 'bout it ... except try accompany them until next flight ...

the time flow and time for next flight almost arrive, so we go to airport again, and then not long they go to waiting room, so i and my friend head back to his home... then after drop him, i head home... like usual i call her when she arrive at his destination airport / home ...

After that event... our relation goes like usual, nothing really special... Then Valentine day come again... i really want to supprise her, so i decide to send her 3 gift box inside every box is a rose bouqet + valentine card] ... at the morning, while she in the class.... i sent those 3 gift to her homestay... then i still have 1 rose bouqet with me... since i dun have class that day, so i decide to spend time in my friend home playing games... while i am in my friend home, i sms/msg her, told her to let me know when she back to her homestay... then after few hours she reply the msg telling that she already at her homestay... so i am heading to her homestay ... i prepare 1 more supprise, the supprise is kiss her hand... which i never done before, just thingking about it make me really nervous, but... somehow i want to complete this Valentine plan.... so at her homestay, i push the bell, then she came out... then this is the time to do the plan [just to let u guys know, i am really nervous back then] ... i give the rose bouqet and say valentine... then i ask "can you give me your hand" [actually i forgot what i ask but i think the event goes like this] she "for what? " ... me "just give it and you will know " ... she "mmmm.... okay" then she give her hand to me ...

With the heartbeat that gonna blow in my chest... i get her hand... kiss it... and tell her "i always like you"

after that... somehow i feel abit relieved, but that fuckin' nervous still with me ...

[is she mad about this kiss ?] ... then i ask her "um... sorry, but u not angry becoz of this things, right ?" ... she "angry... why i should angry ?" [becoz to nervous i feel really hot that time] .... me " oh yeah did u get gift box ? " ... she "um...what gift box ? nope" ... then i realize the gift boxes on the corner of place we talking, so i tell her about those things... not long after that i leave ... somewhat the plan not perfectly going as i want, in my plan she receive the box first before i go to her homestay... but i am glad the plan somewhat going just good

Few days passed after valentine day... and then i learn she having candle light dinner with a guy [ex-bf] ... that time somewhat without think much i decide to give up aftering her [almost 2 years i guess]...

why ? ... compared to her bf, i feel i just nothing, her bf really handsome guy, really smart thoo, seems really perfect guy and more of it she love that person ...

That another time that i felt that the hardest time on my life... the time when i have to let go someone that i love while i still really love her ...

After few weeks passed... i realize i can't force my feeling, then i remember what she said a while a go, just let everything like water... somehow i think that is the best for that time ...

so at the end, for me the one that love her, i want she always with happiness even it impossible in this life to always life in happiness, but that is the thing i pray for the one that i love...i always pray for her happiness... about our relationship ... till this time i write this story, we still friend, even not talking much, like before...

Bout the feeling.... deep inside my heart... i still love her... more over if i see her again, seems i am gonna fall in love again.... but even i still have that feeling i know that she should get someone better than me... the one that i love so much deserve better guy and the guy just not me... i really want to be always by her side, so i can always help her when she needed... but seem that things not possible...

Continue to GIRLS ?? part 5 Final - HEART -

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GIRLS ?? part 3 - FLOW -

Thu, 11 Aug 2005 18:00:55 GMT

※ Author Note : Enjoy reading it, and feel free to post up comment, thank you~ [All Languange accepted]

※ Before you reading this part 3 maybe better if you read part 1 & 2 first

※ Moved to Love-ism カテゴリ for easier finding this entry

Hello mina-san,

Did you enjoy reading part 1 & 2, well i hope so... everything just simple love story that came from personal experience, so it not weird, if that's boring story...

hmm.... since i limit the story each part to make the entry not going so long, it seems there are part 4 to finish the story... ok let's continue the story

After 1~2 weeks we know each other, i decide to meet her personally, and that time was morning break time [usually there is 2 break time, 1 in the morning around 9am the noon break at 12/1am]... when i am going to met her, i can't get calm even there is a friend of mine accompany me... after gathering all courage, i go to met her at the place she told me, then at the place, i saw her just finish having breakfast with her friends... somehow that make me more nervous.... again my friend help me talk with her friends [what the, why he can know so much people?] ... so i have chance talk to her, somewhat introduction each other in person done... but the problem isn't over... i feel so damn ackward, i can't say even a single words... becoz of that, i decide to conclude our meeting., then i leave with my friend...

Then holiday season came... so i decide to accompany her to airport... i forgot who came out with the idea, but my friend that came with me support me to confess to her... then here we go, we go to airport she with her friends, while i go with my friends [2 cars], another reason i accompany her to airport is she & her friends don't know shortcut way to the airport, while one of my friend know about it [thanks for helping me that time dude!] ... the we arrive at the airport at last... somehow things going not as planned, i just dun get time where i can confess to her privately... because she going with her friend, and then she go checking in.... after her friends goes away, my friend told me "this your time, call her and let she meet you, buy a drink or something then confess, go go go~!" ... i know my time not much, if i dun take action fast enuf everything might ruin, then I go, call her and ask her to go out from passanger waiting room, and meet me, i wait for her in the door, then not long from that she came out... then i decide to go buy soft-drink first... we go to to fast food counter and buy the soft-drink, the weather somewhat kinda hot... so i guess better i hurry with the confess and let her back to passenger waiting room... on the way back then i told her ... " I like You ... " without anything else, the reason, well abit to fast if i told her more than that, so confess my feeling like that is the best for now... and then she said "thank you...." , me "well then better you go back to passanger waiting room, pretty hot in here right ? ~w" ... she "well ok then, thank you and see you again after holiday" ... after she going back to passanger waiting room, i go back.... then in the evening, i called her to make sure she already arrive at her home city...

After that event, everything going smooth, somehow it feel so nice, a feeling that i never feel before... maybe i feel that she replying my feeling. but dunno, that was a wonderful memories... when i haven't call her more than 5 days, sometimes she send me a sms asking me "how are you" or "where u been" ... actually not because i didn't want to call her, but i am afraid if i call her to often she will get bored or she fell bothered, beside if i call her too often i will run out good topic to talk ... ever i force myself to call her and make stupid things, talking about about "LIFE" in my personal thinking to her... like lifestream [the one in FFVII, when an energy always moved/transformed to another energy, based on the fact that enegry can be disposed, only can be altered] and other things, that i think those should only stay on my mind...

month by months passed, then i feel i more close to her... sometimes i visit her homestay [she stay in a homestay on her university study]...

then there is a time where she need help to fix her compyuta, so i came to her homestay room, this is first time for me (;;^-^) ... just like Manaka, i imaging stupid things, like "ahhh she sleeping on that bed"... "she study on this desk" ... "ahh that the pillow she using" ... "a big bear doll, hmm... why i feel there is something so special to her? "

like you know even i ever have gf, but backthen because her mom won't let her have bf, so i never go to my gf room.... even so rarely i go to her home..

Then when i fixing her compyuta, she need to go to bathroom, after she goes... i am alone in a girl room that i really like... then i saw a diary... somehow i really want to know what inside it... but that's no gud, so i end up focusing my self on fixing her compyuta... then she back, becoz that time only too of us in the room.... so i decide to talk something about our relationship... if i dun forgot, i ask if i special to her or not... then she answer it "yes ur are so special as my best friend only" ... with that answer somehow i felt a bit sad... maybe all girl born with special sharp feeling, then she asking "why u look so down ? " .... (in my mind) "damn she so sharp" , me "ahh..... nahhh nothing " ... she "i know there is something wrong" ... me "nothing really hehe... hehehe" ... after that we talk about other things....

then the day of her b'day come... she invite me to her b'day, i decided to pick a necklace + flower bouqet for her b'day present... i buy it the same day at her b'day... not really hard picking the right necklace, beside 2 of my friends came and help me give suggestion... after done with the gift, i go to her b'day party... before arrive at her b'day party, dunno why but i totaly nervous to see her... even that nervous make me got stomachache, i didn't know how long i wasting time, but then i receive a SMS from her asking where i am now... i check my wirstwatch. 6:00PM, it's the time.

That time i feel little curious, in my mind somehow flowing several question "wow is she really waiting for me ? i haven't that late to be asked right? " ... "am i suppose to come ealier ?"

Then i go to her b'day party.... she standing infront of the restaurant [b'day party place]... she is so pretty, not because she wearing special dress or make up her face... she just like usual, but everytime i see her, where or when, she always looks really pretty...

then i give the b'day present...

On her b'day, i dun feel want to eat the food, maybe so becoz nervous, i feel my stomach so full... while her friends eating just fine... seems only me that dun really enjoy the food... then i saw all her friends that come to the party... "What the... why all guys... no girls at all ?" (in my mind) ... ahh i saw her parents too... then i decide to ask her "where ur other friends ? "... she "oh u mean girls, dunno but somehow they all just have their own event (;;-_-) "... me "ahh i see..."

Dunno for what reason, her parents come to our table... they talking to her class friend.... i just silent almost all the time.... then her parents, start asking me...

"What the... why me? there are other people...but i have to make great impression to her parents, do i?" (in my mind) ....

After i introduce myself.... then her parents start talking... 15 minutes talking just like 15 days back then.... then it done at last... not long after that the party finished... i go to arcade with my friends... and in there i met my other friends [i am in DDR community back then] ... the event when i chat with her parents still flowing on my head, my mind keep reviewing all those chat, somehow i just feel i have bad impression on her parents... who not, my hair long [front side only, usually we called korean style] and i color it... every girls parents like their girls go with good guys, do they ?

After that event, everything just going smooth, even i saw her wearing the necklace i gave on her b'day, and somehow that makes me happy...

then there is a time where i chat with her friend [girl] and she` told me that the girl that i like already have someone special, which is her ex-bf... hearing that really hurt my felling so bad... i really want to hear the truth asap... becoz my feeling in chaos, so i dun care anything and i call her... on the phone, i asking about it... and the answer is true that she still like her ex-bf... my heart shattered, then without thinking i ask her "what the meaning all of your action ?" ... she reply "what kind of action ?" ...

[i forgot how the converstion goes] i ask alot to her and i didn't understand her answer / i just can't accept the answer ... at the end she told me "Just let everything flow by itself like Water" ...

that night really hard for me... i keep thinking "am i getting wrong about her action to me"... then i understand why she ever told me i am her best friend only...

after that... for a while i am not contacting her... around 1~2months

※ Because i think this entry already long enuf this part... then i continue the story on part 4 ... sorry for the delay of the story (;;^-^)

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GIRLS ?? part 2 - PATH -

Tue, 09 Aug 2005 15:11:45 GMT

※ Author Note : Enjoy reading it, and feel free to post up comment, thank you~ [All Languange accepted]

※ Before you reading this part 2 maybe better if you read part 1 first

※ All Question + Side Story will write on part 3

Even i can't believe it myself, but i am truly make up with her... but if i think over again, it was quite long time to get her heart [how long depends on the people, but for me 1+ year is quite long isn't it ?] and really lots things happen, there are some tough time... but in the end somehow i can manage it and make up with her...

After i make up with her, everything go nice... just like normal couple... usually we have a date once a week, since everyday we school, and usually meet each other on school break time... after couple month, we had some problems between us, i forgot who was fault on those problems, but maybe just like a new couple, the problem somehow often come to test the couple itself... but again maybe because i am just a retard guy that have gf for the first time.

What make the problem kinda harder is becoz the problem not just between us... but there also another else, her parents somehow won't let her have bf, at least on her highschool age [kinda old fashion parents huh?] ... but even her parents won't let her have bf, she actually already go with some guy since junior highschool,

welll i dun think that's weird for school idol isn't it ? ^^

Beside those problem, when the time going sweet, it's really sweet, i remember so damn hard to grab her hand on the date... i really affraid that she will upset / angry becoz that... well i know she is my gf... but since this is 1st time somehow that thing so damn hard to do... at the end i ask about it to her... and she said no problem...

Then there is a time, that her mom read the letter that i sent to her, i sent directly to her, and usually she keep at save place but somewhat her mom found out and really pissed because of that, so at the end i broke up with her, even i already tried to hold her, but seems not possible, at least for now...

That time maybe the time that really hard for me, maybe becoz that is first time i got dumped, back then i feel so sad even i feel there was no tomorrow / life... but i still have little luck, her close friend that somewhat i know well because the circumstance... help me lighter my feeling by talking and give some advice, but even IF i tried talked 7/7 it won't make me fully relief...

The one that can cure the broken heart is only TIME ... as time goes by ... [more about this on next story / part 3]

Time sure passed so fast, then it's time for me to enter a university... i was to lazy to enter the university back then.... not because i don't want to... but i just feel i want to take a long break from study [for 1 year, so i enter the university next year] and i still want to wait for my dream to study abroad to Japan... but my parents, especially mom won't let me doing nothing like that, even a bit late she help me registering on several university... somehow i made to enter some, even i randomly answer the exam entry test... but since it's already kinda late the class i got not really gud, like evening class....

that make me more lazy to continue my study in university... then again my mom help me registering on one of the university, this time the university still have many empty slot for students... i make pick 3 option when entering the university

1. I.T faculty 2. System Information faculty 3. Design Graphic faculty

Then the exam entry test day come... i go for the test ... on the test likewise i randomly answer the exam entry test... i didn't really remember, but it seems IT / SI test mixed... so i need to do 2 test [1 for IT/SI (compyuta science) test & other for design graphic test]

becoz the time gap between compyuta science and design graphic test long [around 2~3 hours] i decide to go home and pass the design graphic test (;;^-^)

After waiting for the result, which actually i dun really care... then the result letter come to my home ... the result is Accepted as IT Faculty University ...

somewhat i dun really happy about it...

Few years ago, in Indonesia [if you dun know where, then forget it, nothin' gud in that country, no kidding] when we enter juniorhighschool / highschool /university there is new student vacation that usually our senpai freely take joke on us [hmm, i dunno what to call it, but i think you guys understand] the point for that event is to let new students know the university people / community, but i guess that more an event for senpai that still single looking for pretty new student (|||-_-);;

Since i dun think that necessary... then i pass the event... and keep enjoy my long break~

Not long from that vacation event, around 1~2 weeks, the class started... then i go to the university without knowing anything.... except the class i should enter?

The route between my home to university is long enuf, it around 100+Km which need 2+ hours to reach it by car... [that is the best case, if there aren't any traffic jam]

As as i arrive at university, i start looking for my class... then i found it, after i sit... "geez, i know no body here .... " (that what in my mind) ... lucky there are some nice classmate take step to introduced to my classmate... after 2 weeks or more, everything just going smooth... my fave class maybe compyuta introduction [i forgot the exact class name] but that one really easy... becoz i often in cypher space that subject was not a problem for me...

Day by day passed... and on English class. somewhat there was a girl that interest me... first impression that burned on my mind is a girl that really have feminime outlook., she wearing so girly dress, even she wearing skirt which i rarely see in university girls... i guess the reason university girls dun like wearing skirt is because somehow it bothering them, they need to becareful about how they sit or other stuff like that or everyone can see her pantsu? [NO IAM NO PERVERT GUY!!!!] ... back then that's it ... i dun thingking anything....

Then after more days passed, because we in same university, there is few times i met her... somehow each time i met her, she interest me more... "damn she is my girl type... so feminime looking girl" .... and somehow i dun know because of what, then i decide to after her... seems i got another luck at that time... there is one of my friend, just like Sotomura, he know every gud looking girls, complete with contact info, such as mobile number...

Even i already got her mobile, but that would be rude to call her directly... absolutely she will asking where i got the her mobile number... so i thinking other way... the i came out with an idea, by sending her a greeting card, why i just don't directly met her and say "can i know you ? " or something like that ? ... because i dun have such courage ... pathethic isn't it... somehow with that card, i manage to introduce myself to her ...

After sometime, i start to contact her... usually i only send Email/SMS ... i dun remember when but i am really positive that is where i start call her and on the phone She asking "why u dun just met me rather than sending me a greeting card ?" ... me "um... i dunno know either ha.. ha..ha .." ... she "but that's polite, somewhat it moved me, it feel you truly want to know me" [to the one that i mean, maybe what i write right now not like exactly you talk back then, gomen nasai, i just write what i remember] ...

Dunno why, but everytime i call her, everytime i met her, i can't stay calm.... [doki doki doki] ... and at that time, i still have problem finding topic to talk, even not as worst as the first time i call her... but the silent time on the phone still happen.... i really dun want that happen, at that time i think so damn hard to find good topic ...

※ This entry a bit to long isn't it ? For everyone reading it... i hope you guys enjoy it

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GIRLS ?? part 1 - 〆Beginning -

Mon, 08 Aug 2005 18:57:51 GMT

after reading ichigo 100%, somehow it brings back my memories....
like first time i am interested in girls, when i after a girl, when iwith a girl...
somehow i just like Manaka [i mean not with girls, but his personality]... i am not a person that gud at sport [that usually girls like] & i not a popular guy in school either...

before junior highschool grade 2... i never interested in girls, what i got focused is game, that's it, well i like beautiful girl [which usually at least 1 in your classmate / grade] but that's it, then dunno what makes me interested in girls, but somehow a girl send me a letter, well she wasn't my classmate / school friend, i know her from net chatting... it really suprised me, i never thinking got a letter from girl, after that letter we became penpal friend, and then somehow i got closer to her, that's makes me remember how hard when i wanted to call her, it feel soooo hard to dial her phone number, then after gather all my courage, i manage to call her, but when she pick up the phone, i got another problem, it really hard to find nice topic to talk about... (|||-_-) ...i dunno when but somehow we lost contact each other...

couple months passed, then i found a girl that i like, she is older than me, 1-2 years, somehow i kinda forgot about it... in the first nothing special from her, she is just like my big sister... but after i know more about her, there is something special in her that somehow make me like her... well the relationship not going so well, the main problem becoz age problem i guess... but even the relationship not going well, there is a time that i got suprised and really happy becoz some reason...

well somehow at the end i lost contact with her, i think she got a bf back then, i am not sure either... but that time i give up after her, then another couple months passed, maybe you can't believe this part but i met a 女の子 [dun ask me what 女の子] on the net, Mori-san ... i think i know her on Grade 3 junior high school, she is just same age like me, somehow i can't believe it myself, she really nice... back then i didn't care much about how our relationship will go or other things, we just chatting on the net...
i teach her some of computer things... while she teach me alot about nihon-go [japanese language], well our relation not stay for long time, but it is really sweet precious memories for me （´∀｀）, i still remember on her summer holiday, we chatting all night, and in the morning when she want to take breakfast, she said like this "ok, i am going to take breakfast for while ok, i will make 2, just pretending you here" ... i reply "whaa what a waste, dun do that" ... she said "no worries, i have my brother, i think he will eat up anyway" .... maybe nothin' special on those conversation, but really meaningful for me... then what the other that really nice is when she in okinawa for school trip, well she already let me know before her go, but what really suprising me, she sending me a postcard on her school trip !!
well actually nothing special in her postcard, but that postcard really meaningful to me...
after that, there is some problem which i dun really know what, not long after that, i lose contact to her...

after that, for while i dun close to any girl, and i enter high school, same school like my junior highschool [err just want to make you guys know, i in same school since kindegarden]
on 2nd grade of my highschool, i interested in a girl, maybe we can say she is the idol in my school back then, [just like nishino tsukasa, sadly the story not as gud as manaka] she is 1st grade, so i am her senpai... i don't know from where i got the courage to after her, but i really after her, there lots things happen back then, mainly sad things i think... since well you know idol of the school, you must be know how much guys after her. When i after her... somehow i know other girls, usually her classmates / close friend, what so funny somehow i got little interest to her classmates back then, well dunno but i got closer to her` classmates rather than her... i dunno either if she` like me too or not, but what i know she already have someone she likes, i remember when i a bit jealous when she` talking about her ex-bf ... but dunno why, i feel really enjoy talking with her` [like satsuki, but without barbaric + aggresive side], maybe she` is my first date too... i dun remember how we can go for a date, maybe that's not a date afterall, but again we have lunch together at fastfood restaurant together after school...
※ her`/ she` = her classmate

I kinda forget but, there was someone ever mention this, which one actually you like ? ... well of course i said, i like the one i interest in the beginning.... and after that, my memories kinda blurry, but somehow i not really close the her` anymore... and after 1year or more? ... the girl that i interested in the beginning make up with me... an school idol make up with me, somehow unbelievable for me...

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※ ahh this CD music always brings my mood & memories